The College Student Taking Maca Powder for Her Libido

Once a week, Daily Intelligencer takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the College Student Taking Maca Powder for Her Penis Pumps: Female, 21, Alphabet City, student, straight, in a relationship.

DAY ONE

9 a.m. Wake up feeling cold. The heater isn't working. Hear clattering of glass outside in the kitchen. My roommate is awake.

1 p.m. Take a shower and G Spot Dildos slip on pink lace panties for tonight. Rub lotion on legs. They get dry easily.

1:30 p.m. Call the boyfriend to make sure he and his roommates are awake for brunch. I wake him up. His voice is groggy-sounding. He tells me about a crazy wolf zombie dream he had last night. I laugh at him because he's cute. We have an annoying "I love you more" argument. We're not that kind of couple. This is an actual argument.

1:45 p.m. Make the mistake of eating pickled garlic, my favorite food, while getting things ready for our brunch party. The boyfriend is not going to like my stinky breath.

2:30 p.m. The boys finally arrive. The roommate and I make bacon and scrambled eggs. I fail at making mimosas (too much orange juice).

4 p.m. Pull down my jeans in bathroom and hear a plop. Forgot that my crappy phone was in my back pocket. Reach my arm into the toilet and pull it out. I wipe it down as best I can. This is the second time I've dropped this particular phone in the toilet.

5 p.m. Off to a Japanese store and Macy's Uptown. No one but the boyfriend and me are interested. Score! I like spending alone time with my meow meow (our nickname for each other).

7 p.m. At Macy's looking for gloves for the boyfriend. We talk about the gloves with the comfiest lining. Find buttless male underwear. Consider buying a pair for him, even though he looks around embarrassed. Decide against the purchase because they're too expensive.

8:30 p.m. Back at the boyfriend's. He feels sick with a cold and takes a nap while I work. The boys are doing a so-called prison workout. Procrastinate while trying to do wall pushups with them.

9 p.m. Wake the boyfriend up and make dinner. He's being grumpy because he's a terrible sick person. He is such a child.

10 p.m. We decide he shouldn't stay with me tonight so I don't get sick. I'm disappointed but I understand. I walk home alone in the cold.

2 a.m. Turn on sound of rain. Sleep. 

DAY TWO

11:15 a.m. Eat cereal while on phone with mom. Text boyfriend to wake up.

1 p.m. Notice my butt cheeks are itchy. The lace on my panties is irritating my eczema. Rub lotion on my butt and imagine boyfriend squeezing it.

1:30 p.m. Call boyfriend. He's feeling better but still sounds like gross. Plan on eating lunch together.

4 p.m. Eating sandwiches with boyfriend in his dorm. I force him to drink some cold medicine. Boyfriend is reluctant to kiss me. He pecks my lips. Is it because he's afraid he'll get me sick? He's doing that annoying thing he sometimes does when he kisses me — he lifts his chin up so that I have to stretch my neck to reach his lips. I force him to lower his chin and kiss him deeply — I'm not going to get sick.

4:30 p.m. Cuddling on the couch watching basketball. I'm a little horny.

6 p.m. Game finally ends. I get my things ready and ask my boyfriend to accompany me to buy notebooks. He's reluctant, but I bully him into coming with me.

6:15 p.m. We leave all bundled up, holding hands. We kiss in the elevator — boyfriend is still being a weird kisser.

6:45 p.m. Boyfriend walks me from the store halfway to my house. I want him to stay with me tonight but I know that he can't because he has school. Also, he's stressed because he thinks he's getting sick and thinks he's a bad student. He wouldn't be in the mood.

8:30 p.m. Watch RuPaul's Drag Race while gorging on sushi, cherry tomatoes, Cheddar cheese, and ham. I'm gross, but it's okay because I'm going to the gym tomorrow.

10:30 p.m. I check on my butt; grateful it's feeling smoother. My pubic hair is growing out and it's starting to itch. I think I'll let my pubes grow out for now. Keeping them shaved is annoying and uncomfortable.

12:45 a.m. Call boyfriend to say good night. I want to talk sexy but I know he won't be into it. He's too stressed out.

DAY THREE

10:45 a.m. While at the library, I get text from boyfriend that he's already at the dining hall. Super annoyed. I call the boyfriend. Instead of "Why didn't you tell me sooner that you had left the library?" I put on my sweet, whiny voice: "I wanted to meet you after class." He melts with guilt. Success.

1:45 p.m. Class was terrifying. The teacher was too young for my taste and too funny. I like my professors old and serious. The professor also looks like a cross between Mark Ruffalo and a hipster D.J. Off to the gym.

2:15 p.m. On the elliptical. Shakira is singing and I can't help but work up a sweat. I think that my workout playlist is also my sex playlist.

3:30 p.m. Stop into a natural store near my apartment to look for Maca powder. I've read it's good for energy, stamina, and libido.

3:40 p.m. $30. Damn. Get it anyway.

6 p.m. Boyfriend calls. Debate dinner options. We can cook or order Mexican. Option número dos is the way we go. He'll pick up our dinner on his way here.

6:30 p.m. Eating dinner with the boyfriend and chatting with my roommate. I show them the Maca powder and boyfriend winces at the price. "I know, but it's for my libido!" I protest. My roommate looks uncomfortable. I laugh.

8 p.m. Boyfriend is ready to go back home. We kiss and say good-bye. I love his beard and can't help but rub it even though he says rubbing makes him break out.

11 p.m. Done researching and working. Look up sex news online and wind up getting turned on, but I restrain myself. Every time I masturbate to anything other than my boyfriend I feel empty and sad. Anyway, I like waiting. It makes the sex so much sweeter when it finally comes.

DAY FOUR

8 a.m. Put a little too much Maca powder in my cereal. It tastes weird, but not bad, a little bit like sweet potato.

11 a.m. The boyfriend and I meet up for lunch. I can see him waiting for me at the corner of the park and I run over to him. Sweet makeout sesh.

11:30 a.m. Boyfriend and I are chatting in the dining hall. I tell him I wrote about my experience with eczema for a website. I'm giddy and happy but remark how my hands haven't been doing that great. They've been red and blotchy with the cold. He says, "Yeah, let's not look at them." My heart sinks. I am offended and he notices. He apologizes and says that he didn't mean it and that he loves my hands. I hide them away from him when he asks to see them and touch them. I feel unattractive and insulted. I thought that I had gotten over being self-conscious about my eczema, but I would never expect my boyfriend to steam-roll me like he just did. For a moment, I don't know if I can ever trust him enough to be naked in front of him again. I decide to tell him how I feel and let it go. He seems to understand but I'm still hurt.

1 p.m. I make my way home in the rain. I'm feeling better about the whole eczema thing, though I still think that my boyfriend is really stupid for saying that. I chant my New Year's resolution mantra to myself: "I am beautiful. I am beautiful."

8 p.m. Watching TV at boyfriend's place. During a commercial, he asks me if I'm still upset with him and I nod yes. I'm not super angry, though. He kisses me and apologizes. He puts his hands down my jeans, reaching for a butt squeeze. He keeps his hand there while we watch TV. He's such a doofus. I love him.

10 p.m. The boyfriend walks me home in the rain. He leaves me at my apartment and we kiss good night.

Midnight Doing homework. Decide my boyfriend is actually a good guy. Glad he's not (that) stupid.

1 a.m. Go to sleep.

DAY FIVE

Noon Off to my scary, intimidating music class. I'm sweating.

1:45 p.m. Still scared out of my mind. Seriously thinking about switching out of it. I feel stressed out and tired, but I shouldn't because I had a spoonful of Maca powder in my pineapple juice this morning. 

7 p.m. Having dinner with boyfriend and his friends. There are so many weird underclassmen in the dining hall. I wonder how many other seniors still eat at the dining halls? My boyfriend pulls my chair over to his and kisses me while the other two boys are getting food. A girl sitting nearby looks at us and is distressed. I don't care.

10:30 p.m. The boyfriend arrives. He quickly turns on the computer and puts on the basketball game. I'm really starting to get into basketball. It makes me forget about all the things I have to do and the lists I have in my head.

Midnight Still watching the game. Falling asleep.

12:30 a.m. Game is finally over. Even though I'm sleepy, I'm still really turned on. We slip under my down comforter and start cuddling. He goes down on me.

12:40 a.m. We start having sex. I come quickly, but I feel like I can't wait for him to come. I'm angry because I'm falling asleep.

1 a.m. The boyfriend finally comes. I'm half asleep and feel a little used. He's been taking longer and longer lately and he says it's because he's "training" or because he's "in the zone." I'm not buying it and it makes me feel like I'm to blame. Even though I came I feel defeated. We cuddle and I fall asleep in his arms.

1:30 a.m. Wake up and see the boyfriend coming back from the shower. He always showers at night.

DAY SIX

10 a.m. First day of my internship. Need a professional but not too serious outfit. I go with my patterned pants, lime green sweater, and camel blazer. Perfect.

11 a.m. Make it to the office on time. Everyone is really nice and they all like my blue hair. Who says that artificially colored hair is bad for business?

8 p.m. Roommate and I eat cheese and watch RuPaul.

Midnight After doing work and talking to the boyfriend, it’s time to go to sleep.

DAY SEVEN

9 a.m. Awake early on a Saturday. Boyfriend is supposed to stay with me tonight. I'm excited, though a little wary because of what happened the other night. The thing is that I fall asleep really early and the boyfriend is never asleep before one. It's a problem.

10 a.m. I shave everything because I want to be smooth for my Meow Meow.

Noon I get a text from the boyfriend inviting me to get lunch with him. I leave and head over to the dining hall.

4 p.m. Back home doing more work. The roommate is busy writing her script.

6 p.m. The boyfriend calls. I ask him when he's going to come over. He wants me to come help them make chili. I love cooking so I say yes and ask him when he wants me to come over. He says eleven. I have a fit. Doesn't he know that I want him to come over early so we can have sex while I'm still awake? I yell at him and hang up.

6:05 p.m. I love him but he can be such an idiot sometimes. I feel hurt. I wish he was more romantic and tried to make an effort to listen to me and what I need.

7 p.m. Boyfriend has changed his mind and wants to come over tonight. I agree.

9 p.m. He arrives at my place. I'm glad he came, though now I'm not really in the mood to do anything.

10 p.m. We watch Clue, order Chinese food, and pig out on my bed.

Midnight I'm sleepy again. I close the door and take off my pants. The boyfriend is lying on the bed just watching me. I get under the sheets and look up at him, waiting for him to make a move. When he just looks at me, I kiss him. He laughs.

12:03 a.m. I ask him what's funny and he laughs again. I'm annoyed. He says he doesn't know why he's laughing. I yell at him for taking his sweet time to make love to me. I'm not asking him to rush, I just want him to realize that it's late.

12:08 a.m. The boyfriend suggests that we have sex the way the cavemen did: go to sleep at eight, wake up at one, have sex, and go back to sleep. I wish we could, but I know I won't wake up. I could have morning sex, but I know that he won't wake up! He says he has to because he has to head back home to make the chili. I'm fed up. I turn off the lights and go to sleep.

4 a.m. I wake up and it’s dark. The boyfriend is stirring. I ask why he's awake. He kisses me. I can feel him getting hard. I tickle his balls and he squirms. I get on top and we start having very slow sex. Even though we're not moving, I like feeling him pulsing inside me.

4:05 a.m. He flips us over so he's on top. He starts to breathe heavier and I know he’s going to come soon.

4:07 a.m. He comes. I’m surprised because even though we use condoms he usually pulls out. I don’t know why he did it, but I’m glad he did.

TOTALS: Two orgasms; one act of oral sex received; three pairs of sexy panties worn.